“Be not dismayed if your endeavours are dismissed as utopian by the voices that would oppose any suggestion of fundamental change. Trust in the capacity of this generation to disentangle itself from the embroilments of a divided society. To discharge your responsibilities, you will have to show forth courage, the courage of those who cling to standards of rectitude, whose lives are characterised by purity of thought and action, and whose purpose is directed by love and indomitable faith. As you dedicate yourselves to healing the wounds with which your peoples have been afflicted, you will become invincible champions of justice… “
A LETTER FROM THE HEART
Hey Ryan. It was so cool the way you turned down that Sexiest Man Alive title People tried to give you recently. And how you gave it to Bradley Cooper who dates famous women so he can stay in the headlines and land roles, a classic Ashton Kutcher move. It bothered me at first, given how much we were all pulling for you. Remember that time you broke up a fight over a painting right after what appeared to be a marathon bicep workout? That was really cool of you. It’s a unique talent, when a man can end a fight with only his arms and his charms. Award-winning talent, some might say. Also, I seem to remember you were in some movies this year – I think it was something like 17? of them? – and I can vouch for you being very toned in close to all of them. You didn’t get naked in all of them so that’s why I can’t speak to each role, sorry. You really should’ve gotten naked in all of them for the express purpose that I could be a reliable source for you. And not because I want to see your abs of steel 24 hours a day. I mean you’re not a piece of MEAT, right?! But no really, why don’t you get naked all of the time? I think it would go well. But mainly so that I could 100% vouch for you, about the tonedness. It’s ok though, I plan to rent your movies soon and re-view them as silent films, so I’m confident I’ll be able to ascertain your level of tonedness in all of them soon enough. But back to that street fight — I saw that other video that interviewed you about that video in which your impossibly toned arms, typically reserved for activities such as caressing girls’ faces/shoulders for comfort, preparing dinner for your grandmother on weekends and, I can only imagine, saving baby goslings? But yes, I saw that video interviewing you about the almost-slap-fight between artists your arms diffused, and how you were embarrassed about the attention it was garnering. Cuh-lassic Ryan. Cuh-lassic. You’re so cute. Which reminds me, and this is off topic, but can I just say your arms seem to be working really flawlessly in concert with your core and face? Can I just say that?